confession...its good for the soul

I have a confession to make.

I didn't give up anything for Lent.  I ate a chocolate bar last week.  I had fried chicken for dinner last night.  I'm not even reading the books that I set aside to read during these 40 days of Lent, a time that has traditionally been set aside for introspection and penitence.

Instead, I'm reading novels.  NOVELS!

I haven't read a novel since...well, before Christmas.  When I walk by Mary, our Administrative Assistant's, desk I will often take a caramel, or Tootsie Roll or (gasp) a Hershey's Kiss!  I'm even planning on taking some vacation time - in the middle of Lent - what am I thinking?!?  Oooo, here's something else - I still use real butter, eat processed foods, and meat on Fridays.  And I stayed in bed till after 9 this morning.  (ok, if I'm really confessing it was after 10 till I got up and moving).

And I'm ok with it.

Its not that I don't believe in fasting, I do.  Its not that I am being cavalier about the season of Lent, I'm fully aware of the many ways that people of faith have used the season of Lent to focus on Christ's life, death and resurrection.

Its just that, well, I'm tired.  And after walking alongside 6 different families who have faced the death and funerals of loved ones since Christmas - I am tired of dwelling in darkness.  I have been in the tomb a number of times here lately and I want to live in the light and hope of the resurrection for a while.

We ARE resurrection people.  This is why Sundays aren't included in Lenten countdown - they are 'mini-Easters' and are to be celebrated as each Sunday is, as we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  And the reality is that Lent is not meant to be a time to be miserable and sad in preparation for Good Friday.

My denomination has a resource for Lenten observation that says:  "Every week, [in Lent] we draw nearer to our need for Christ and the realization that the Spirit gives us what we need to live our baptismal vows to renounce the evil powers of this world, walk away from our sinful ways, resist evil, injustice and oppression in every way they present themselves, and entrust our whole lives to the grace and Lordship of Jesus."  (gbod.org/worship Planning Lent and Easter)  Want to learn more?  Click here 

I honestly couldn't continue doing what I do without the guidance and power of the Holy Spirit!  I also know that one of the most important things that I can do for myself and the folks I walk alongside is, well, I need to take care of myself.

This whole Lent thing isn't as much about what we give up as it is about journeying together under the love, mercy and grace of our Triune God.  This I will do with great hope and expectation as we tell the stories of how God lives and moves within our lives.

Whether you personally have given something up for Lent or taken something new on - it is my prayer that during Lent you are drawn closer to God's love and the community you are a part of...oh and for some fun watch the movie "Chocolat".  It's a real treat with a powerful message about the season of Lent!

peace, love in Christ,

Deborah

3 weeks and counting

Zayden Michael Loonsfoot

Three weeks ago today baby Zayden entered our lives.  In the time since his arrival we have had amazing adventures and even some scary moments.

Labor went longer than expected, and at 4:54am on January 26th Zayden Michael was delivered by C-section.  My daughter, Lauren, and her husband Bryan asked me to be in the labor and delivery room.  The hardest thing was seeing them wheel toward the operating room for the c-section - but all went well and Lauren and Bryan were rewarded with a healthy (and beautiful) 8 pound 10 ounce, 20 inch long baby boy.

first family photo:
Bryan, Zayden and Lauren

After a few days in the hospital Lauren and Zayden arrived home and I headed out of town for a week of continuing ed.  The other grandma Deb (Bryan's mom) held down the fort while I spent time in Nashville doing some research and connecting with the fine folks at the United Methodist General Board of Discipleship and the Upper Room.

Anticipating a winter storm I left Nashville a day early and not long after I crossed the Iowa state line my daughter called to tell me that she was on the way to the doctor's office because she wasn't feeling so well.  By the time I was back in Waverly Lauren was in the Emergency room with chest and back pain and a low pulse.  Later that night Lauren was admitted for observation and Bryan took the baby home.  I spent the night with Lauren.  Early Saturday morning the Doctor came in and said she wanted Lauren to be seen by some heart specialists, so it was off to Waterloo's Allen Hospital.

Lauren and Zayden

Overnight Lauren's pulse was in the low 30's.  While resting it was in the low 40's.  A normal pulse is 70-90 beats per minute, unless you're Lance Armstrong of course.   More tests were called for so I made some phone calls to parishioners and without batting an eye Sunday worship was covered.  I am so grateful for everyone's willingness to help out at the last moment!

The prayer warriors of Trinity United Methodist Church and friends across the country through the power of social media (Facebook) covered Lauren with prayers...so it was a matter of time, more tests and finally the treatment of letting some medicine do its thing to take the fluid off of her lungs to relieve the pressure on her heart.

Grandma and Zayden

Lauren was finally released from the hospital late in the afternoon on Monday, February 6th.  On Tuesday we traveled to Iowa City to meet with the cardiologists at the University of Iowa Hospital.  They did a wonderful job explaining the situation and we were assured that there was no permanent damage and in time Lauren's pulse would return to 'normal'.

And so - here we are - three weeks later with a sweet baby Zayden who really is thriving from all of the attention he's getting from his uncles and grandparents let alone mom and dad.  Lauren is on the mend and I am finally caught up and able to blog again.

Happy three week birthday, Zayden - you are a precious child of God and you are loved so very much!  And thank you Lauren and Bryan for letting me be part of these past few weeks.  I am blessed too.

in Christ, together,
Deborah

a brand new day

Today (or sometime in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow) I will be a grandmother.

Quite frankly, I'm still not sure how I feel about this...I'm not OLD enough to be a grandma.  My daughter is not old enough to be a mother for that matter - I just brought her home from the hospital a few months ago!  Ok, its been nearly 23 years but it seems like yesterday at times.

And wrapped up in all of this is my own angst, I don't know what a grandmother looks like.   My own mom died long before I had children - and I don't know what to do.  What if I mess things up?  What if the world that I am part of isn't good enough for my grand son?  What if I can't protect him from the hurts and pains of life?

Deep breath...ready or not there will be a new addition to the family in the next 24 hours.  A little baby boy who already has a name:  Zayden Michael.

Welcome to the world Zayden Michael Loonsfoot.  I can't make a whole lot of promises other than I will love you lots - and give you a cookie whenever you want one - cause I think that's what grandmas are supposed to do.

Peace, hope and joy,
Deborah aka 'grandma'

hello, my name is Deborah and I have a thing for books...

Today a Facebook friend asked for reading recommendations - when another friend, who is not on Facebook, asked me what was on my bookshelf in regards to the missional and emergent church movement I figured it was time to share my reading list. Especially since I spent much of the day sorting through stuff and loading up a new bookshelf in my room!

So, here is what I have been reading in 2011 and what I'm looking forward to in the next couple of months.  I'd love to hear what you're reading too!

This year I have been to 3 different continuing ed conferences where I have heard from the likes of Phyllis Tickle, Doug Paggit, Mike Slaughter, Rudy Rasmus, Adam Hamilton, Alan Hirsh and then at Wild Goose Festival I heard Diana Butler Bass, Richard Rohr, Jim Wallis, Peter Rollins, Jay Bakker, Brian McLaren, Tony Jones, Shane Claiborne...well the list can go on and on.

In 2012 I am really looking forward to Permanent Revolution: Apostolic Faith and Practice for the 21st Century by Alan Hirsch - he speaks truth and he is winsome - he has a much better developed voice than even a few years ago when it seemed to me that he wanted to blow up the church (not that there is anything wrong with that!)

Elaine Heath, UMC prof at Perkins is doing some very cool stuff with the Neo-Monastic movement in Dallas/Ft Worth area.   Her book The Mystic Way of Evangelism is a must read for church leaders and especially for those who have been wrestling with what church can and should look like.  I highly recommend it. I was about to disregard the last 1/3 because it was a case study, but I ended up in tears.

Have you visited Henri Nouwen lately? The Wounded Healer and The Life of the Beloved are both favorites from this year. I did a study with some folks this summer on Life of the Beloved that was well received.  Both are small volumes but pack great wisdom.  The Wounded Healer was written in 1979 but is very post-modern in my humble opinion.

I was intrigued by Diana Butler Bass at Wild Goose.  I like what she is saying about the church and the culture shift we are in the midst of. She has a book coming out in February called Christianity After Religion.  I will preorder it soon.

I would like to do this study by Phyllis Tickle Embracing Emergence Christianity.  She is still one of my favorite people, as I told Mrs Tickle in March, I want to be like her when I grow up.  She is wonderful and I got to see her in June at Wild Goose as well!

I really like Richard Rohr - his book The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See rocks - as does Falling Upward. Falling Upward really speaks to people at midlife transitions - so might be something to do with newly empty nesters. But it goes really deep - not for the faint of heart.

Brian McLaren is one of the most down to earth guys I have met this year.  McLaren is a pioneer in the missional/emergent movement. Brian led a conversation with Justin's age group at Wild Goose and Justin loved 'Brian'. It was a highlight for me when later I thanked him and he remembered Justin. :) I have been working on a couple of his books including Naked Spirituality and A New Christianity: 10 Questions that are transforming the Faith.  Good, thoughtful stuff.

Mike Slaughter was equally accessible at Ginghamsburg - which was very cool!  I have some of his stuff to read but have not had time to read it - yet.  I was really impressed by how willing Ginghamsburg is to share their stuff.  A real leader in the UMC!

Adam Hamilton is a great speaker and a prophetic and positive leader in the UMC.   I was VERY impressed by the Church of the Resurrection Leadership Institute - I will take a group of folks from Trinity to COR in the fall.  We used Hamilton's The Journey during the Advent season.

I would really like to hear Scot McKnight speak. His blog, Jesus Creed, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/ is very insightful. I wish the UMC had someone who could speak with similar authority and as prolifically as McKnight.   McKnight is Evangelical Covenant and teaches New Testament at Northpark in Chicago. Brilliant and accessible writing - I just love it. His book The King Jesus Gospel: The Original Good News Revisited is rocking my world right now - and One.Life: Jesus Calls, We Follow is also very powerful - I could see it being used especially with 20 something/college ages.

I read Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy last winter and used it for a sermon series on the Beatitudes during Epiphany. His book really got me to thinking about being kingdom builders - wonderful book but very dense. We used his DVD study and it was well received by folks at Trinity.

Sean Gladding was at Wild Goose and he has done a narrative of the Bible called The Story of God, the Story of Us. It is meant to be done over 12 weeks with a group as readers theatre. Really cool way to look at scripture as a way to form people.

One more thing on my shelf - NT Wright has translated the New Testament - focusing on the Kingdom of God - the Kingdom New Testament came out this fall.   Good, good stuff!

If you want to read a novel, Ian Morgan Cron's Jesus, the CIA and Me: a memoir of sorts is a poignant story of grace and God's redemptive love.  Ian was at Wild Goose and he has a lovely voice and way of telling a story.  

I am blessed to be part of two different Emergent/Missional Church reading groups, it helps to gather together with others to discuss what you read and wrestle over ideas.  I'd highly recommend seeking out some others to do so - even if it means driving 100 miles each way!  It's worth it to stir things up and get your mind in gear.  You never know how the Holy Spirit will work through these sorts of gatherings!



This year my continuing ed schedule will look quite different, but I am just as excited for the new books that will be coming out in 2012.  In the meanwhile - Happy New Year everyone and happy reading!

Peace, love in Christ,
Deborah

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I need a wife.

Please.

thank you,
deborah


ps  not a wife/wife but someone to help around the house...maybe you could loan me an elf or two during the off season?  It would be nice if they liked to do stuff other than cooking and cleaning.  ummm, like folding socks (I hate folding socks) and sending out the Christmas cards on time, taking walks, hanging out is ok too.

thanks!

doing with out is a good thing, right?

“Celebrating Advent means being able to wait. … Whoever does not know the austere blessedness of waiting - that is, of hopefully doing without - will never experience the full blessing of fulfillment.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Here we are, on the eve of advent season, and once again Bonhoeffer's words haunt me.  I am a child of our culture.  I personally don't like doing without much of anything!  Trust me, I have plenty of food, way too many clothes and let's not get started talking about all of my books....

And yet, Bonhoeffer invites me - invites all of us - to wait.  And not just wait, but to consider that waiting is a blessing - and to wait (and do without that thing we desire most) hope-fully.  Talk about counter-cultural!  I do see his point.  If we rush through the next 29 days, if we consume and consume and don't exercise moderation in our lives, if we don't w a i t  for it - then whats the point?  We will never experience the blessedness of fulfillment if we can have all that our hearts desire instantaneously.

And so I wait.  We wait.  We wait expectantly, hopefully, and we don't wait for stuff.  Waiting gives our minds time to clear.  Waiting takes practice and is best done along with the spiritual disciplines of prayer, scripture reading, worship, Holy Communion and yes even fasting.  These practices allow us to start to see the world through 'God shaped lenses'...its actually pretty amazing to realize that with practice we get to see the world as God sees.  And if we are gentle to ourselves and to others we see how blessed we already are, how God moves and breathes and gives life meaning and we learn to hope again.  

Psalm 131 speaks to this kind of hopeful waiting 

God, I'm not trying to rule the roost, I don't want to be king of the mountain. 

I haven't meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans. 

I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart. 

Like a baby content in its mother's arms, 

my soul is a baby content. 

Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope. 

Hope now; hope always!   (The Message translation)

And so this is my hope for Advent this year.  That we may find peace, hope, joy and love as we wait hopefully throughout this Advent season.

in Christ, together

Deborah

Paul writes in his letter to Romans (Romans 15:12-13)

Isaiah says, “The Root of Jesse will spring up,
one who will arise to rule over the nations; in him the Gentiles will hope.”  

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, 

so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Amen!   

what have I done now?

It starts innocently enough - a simple envelope with a membership card included - well, it's actually a temporary membership card - and the first few times I ignored it simply because AARP was emblazoned on the front.

Yep, I started getting my invitations just days before my (gulp) 50th birthday in June.  And every few weeks since a new 'temporary membership card' arrived in the mail.  Being more mature now, it wasn't long till I started comparing my AAA benefits with AARP.   Did you know that AARP has a better hotel discount than AAA???  Go figure!

So, a couple of weeks ago, I paid my $16 dues and am now a card carrying member of AARP.  Why not, right?

In addition to discounts of all sorts membership benefits include email newsletters with helpful tips and information for a better life for us older folks.  But I'm not sure what to think of the latest newsletter.  It's this headline that has me disturbed, quite frankly:  "13 Little Luxuries We Deserve Now That We're Over 50"  It's enough to make me wonder if I should cancel my membership right away!!

I don't know about you, but I didn't know that I deserve much of anything just for turning a year older.  I fear this is another example of what's wrong with our culture.  The article promises, "Big satisfaction for small expenditure, and small guilt!" hmmm, that sure sounds nice, but just because I am over 50?!?!

Should I really care about real maple syrup (at $100/gallon) and weekly manicures, numbers 4 and 7 on the AAPR list, as luxuries I now deserve when I see broken and hurting people each and every day?  I think that if I have enough money to pay for real Hawaiian ginger or a six-pack of massage certificates then I should be tithing to my church at the very least and investing my time and talent in mentoring and volunteering too!

I'm not sure if I'll keep the AARP card -  I don't really like the warped perspective its giving me about ageing in the 21st Century.  Seems pretty immature and shallow to me, but what do I know?

Peace,
Deborah