Saturday, February 19, 2011


Like everyone else in America next to my side of the bed is an alarm clock.  I've had it for a couple of years now.  Its a Sony Dream Machine - one would expect that anything made by Sony = quality.  The main reason I picked this clock is because it has "auto time set."   What a great feature, if the power goes out, or if the clock is unplugged for any reason - when the power is back on it displays the current time all by itself. 

There's only one problem, the clock is 11 minutes fast and I don't know how to re-reset the time.

There is a button to change the time zone, there is a button for DST (daylight savings time) but I can't find a way to reset the, I have to do some mental math to figure out what time it really is...which is kinda messed up, especially early in the morning.  

Its still a good clock - its very easy to set the alarm, plays music just fine, snooze button is easy to find...if only it would keep the right time.  I have lived with it for a couple of years now...perhaps I am just too cheap to buy a  new clock, perhaps I could go on line and dig around for an owners manual and see if there is a secret button I could push to reset the time...I dunno.  Sounds like a lot of work for a $15 alarm clock.

Its not a big deal, I suppose...but it is one of those things that I have had to learn to live with.  It makes me  wonder how many other broken things in my own life I have just learned to live with - come to accept as the way things are...when, in reality, its broken.  I have found that to keep up with my brokenness I am much more likely to find/make ways to get around it rather than fix it or change it.  I think this is human nature.

Change is hard.  We have lived in Waverly for 8 months now.  We are blessed to have a lovely parsonage provided by the church.  Its nice and roomy and we have filled it up and it is home...except for one room on the second floor, I just can't wrap my mind around it - so the door stays closed and it goes un-used.  Its an office, and I don't really need an office here at the house.  The desk is in place, there's even an old computer sitting on it - and pencils and pens and all of the normal office-y stuff.  There are also a bunch of boxes in there - stuff I should just get rid of or file away.  But, it just sits there, incomplete, with the door closed I am not reminded of how it is broken too.

To get to the bottom of our brokenness is hard work.  It would be really easy (it has been really easy) to say that God loves me in spite of the brokenness - and God does, of course, love me as I am.  But the reality is, I don't think God wants me to stay in my brokenness.  When part of me is broken then I am not whole; body, mind or soul.  I think that God wants us to be healthy and whole, and this is where God's love and mercy and grace come into play.  By the very grace of God I am able to recognize what is broken and by the very grace of God I am given, over time, many different opportunities and ways to work my way out of the brokenness and into healthier ways of living.  But it takes work...hard work.

I am grateful that God is patient with me.  I am grateful that God has given me family and friends and colleagues to journey with...they may not know all of the ways I am broken, but they reflect God's love and acceptance nevertheless.  My prayer, this day, is that whoever takes the time to read this will also realize how beloved you are - how much God loves you - even in the midst of the brokenness...AND how God will provide ways to help you move to healthier places when you are ready to do so.  We are fragile, finite, creatures, you and I.  It is going to take time - and thats ok.

As far as the brokenness I carry around with me, I am not too proud to admit that I am a work in progress.  Thanks be to God for loving me through it!  It still amazes me how God is able to use me in spite of my brokenness - though I shouldn't be surprised at all.  God has a pattern of doing this, doesn't He?  The Bible is full of love lessons from God about how He can use even the most broken of us to build His kingdom.  And so, I persevere...and pray for God's healing touch to reach into my brokenness.

Peace, hope, love and joy,

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