Wednesday, January 25, 2012

a brand new day

Today (or sometime in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow) I will be a grandmother.

Quite frankly, I'm still not sure how I feel about this...I'm not OLD enough to be a grandma.  My daughter is not old enough to be a mother for that matter - I just brought her home from the hospital a few months ago!  Ok, its been nearly 23 years but it seems like yesterday at times.

And wrapped up in all of this is my own angst, I don't know what a grandmother looks like.   My own mom died long before I had children - and I don't know what to do.  What if I mess things up?  What if the world that I am part of isn't good enough for my grand son?  What if I can't protect him from the hurts and pains of life?

Deep breath...ready or not there will be a new addition to the family in the next 24 hours.  A little baby boy who already has a name:  Zayden Michael.

Welcome to the world Zayden Michael Loonsfoot.  I can't make a whole lot of promises other than I will love you lots - and give you a cookie whenever you want one - cause I think that's what grandmas are supposed to do.

Peace, hope and joy,
Deborah aka 'grandma'