Over the past few months I have been re-acquainting myself with some of my favorite music. Last night, in the Waverly Hy-Vee of all places, I heard the opening rifts of Sting's "Brand New Day" and I had to smile. Here is the first verse of the song (the music video is ummm - well its interesting...you may check it out on YouTube if you aren't familiar with the song)
How many of you people out there
Been hurt in some kind of love affair
And how many times do you swear that you'll never love again?
How many lonely, sleepless nights
How many lies, how many fights
And why would you want to put yourself through all that again?
"Love is pain," I hear you say
Love has a cruel and bitter way
Of paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain
How could it be that what you need the most
Can leave you feeling just like a ghost?
You never want to feel so sad and lost again
Sting - Brand New Day (1999)
In a sense this song really resonates with me - because Monday, November 1st, officially became a brand new day for me. On Monday my divorce became official as the judge signed the final papers. I have been reticent to post anything about the divorce, mainly because in my mind it really isn't something to celebrate. I am deeply saddened by the events that led Steve and I to make this decision - it was not entered into lightly, but I do believe that it was the right decision for all involved.
In the midst of all of the changes of the past year; separation, changes in job, a move, a child graduating from high school, sending the two girls to college, helping the boys get acclimated to living in a new community, the challenges of being a solo pastor... need I say more? And yet - despite all of these things - I am so grateful for God's very real presence in the midst of this journey and for the love and affirmations that I have received from family and friends alike.
I will have plenty of challenges ahead, but I anticipate many, many great joys as I re-discover who I am as an individual, and more important as a beloved child of God. That really is the whole point after all.
This weekend is the boys first official visitation weekend with their dad. I wasn't sure how I would feel about being home alone...but last night as "Brand New Day" played in the grocery store I noticed that my step became lighter. I watched a movie, went to bed early, and this morning I am getting a jump start on some projects...including finally writing this blog post about the big changes in our lives.
We are going to be ok. It is well with my soul!